Chew On This: Top 50 Metal Hunks

Inspired by my top ten (sparing boyfriends and life partners), a group of the best gals in the metal scene voted on the sexiest metal men alive.

Contributors include my jewelry making cuddly buddy Jocelyn Shipley, the ever cheery Katrina Pasciutti, the grimmest metal scribe Kim Kelly, my Canadian sistah from another mistah Natalie Zina Walschots, a very Sirius Jersey girl Zeena Koda and NYHC’s favorite Russian queen Zena Tsarfin.

Enjoy our spank bank of long haired, tough skinned beast masters.

50. Hellhammer [ Mayhem ]
49. Jesse Leach [ Killswitch Engage ]
48. Mikael Stanne [ Dark Tranquility ]
47. Gregory Lahm [Struck by Lightning ]
46. Aaron Deal [ Darkest Hour / Salome ]
45. Aaron Turner [ Isis ]
44. Darryl Jenifer [ Bad Brains ]
43. Michael Keene [ Faceless ]
42. Ville Sorvali [ Moonsorrow ]
41. Evan Patterson [ Young Widows ]
40. David Kush [ The Atlas Moth ]
39. Jimmy Claypool [ In Defence / FALSE ]
38. R [ Cruciamentum / Grave Miasma / Destroyer 666 ]

37. Adam Kriney [ La Otracina ]
Nerdy wizard

36. Neige [ Alcest ]
35. Christian Muenzner [ Obscura ]

34. Devin Townsend [ Strapping Young Lad ]
From Natalie Zina: I get he’s a werido but I want to have sex with his brain

33. Johan Hegg [ Amon Amarth ]
32. Vetis Monarch [ Weapon ]
31. Heri Joensen [ Tyr ]
30. Nate Newton [ Converge ]
29. Fade Kainer [ Batillus / Jarboe / Inswarm ]
28. Erik Wunder [ Cobalt / Man’s Gin ]
27. Phil Anselmo [ Pantera / Down ]
26. Zack Simmons [ Goatwhore ]
25. KK Warslut [ Destroyer 666 ]
24. Vreth [ Finntroll ]
23. Tim Yeung [ Hate Eternal / Vital Remains / mucho macho death metal ]
22. Keith Buckley [ Every Time I Die ]
21. Chino Moreno [ Deftones ]
20. Kim Carlsson [ Lifelover / Hypothermia ]
19. Ed Carlson [ Flotsam & Jetsam ]
18. Stephen Pearcy [ Ratt & Zena’s BF, so step off]
17. Bas Maas [ Doro ]
16. King ov Hell [ Gorgoroth / God Seed ]

15. Michael Bertoldini [ The Secret ]
How do you say “let’s go make out in the back alley” in Italian?

14. John Preston Bundy [ NAAM ]
13. Doc Coyle [ God Forbid ]

12. LEMMY
He gets more groupies than Bieber can count
12-LEMMY-1

11. Blake Anderson [ Vektor ]
Blondie power drummer

10. Jeff Moreira [ Poison The Well ]
Cuban papi still holding it down

9. Garrett [ Trash Talk ]
California Love
Garrett Stevenson of Trash Talk

8. Mike Patton [ FNM/Tomahawk/Fantomas ]
Crooning mustached weirdo with a side of death growls
8-MIKEPATTON-2

7. Dolk [ Kampfar ]
Chiseled Norwegian sex god
7-DOLKKAMPFAR-1

6. Bruce Dickinson [ Iron Maiden ]
HE CAN FLY A PLANE AND FLY ON STAGE!
bruce-1

5. John Joseph [ Cro-Mags ]
yes, meat IS for pussies
5-JOHNJOSEPH-1

4. Wino [ Obsessed / St. Vitus ]
Aged like a fine Wino

Wino

3. Ben Falgoust [ Goatwhore & Solient Green ]

When Steel & Boners Meet

BEN

2. Troy Sanders [ Mastodong ]

A tall glass of Southern Comfort

Troy-r

1. Henry Rolllins

[ El Numero Uno Bestia ]

HENRYr

There is one person we all agreed was the superest of them all: Mr. Henry Rollins. We like him aged. We liked him when he was young. He is clearly one of the most fuckable people on the planet. If metalheads worked at People magazine, we would vote Henry the Sexiest Man Alive every single year for the rest of his life. Adam Levine, who? Henry is strong, sensitive and 100% Hot Animal Machine. Henry, we love you.